Goodbye 2014


                                        
   
Today is the last day of 2014 and the end of a busy and challenging year for me. At the beginning of the year I was finishing and handing in my first class dissertation, a piece of work I am extremely proud of and want to expand on at some point. My final 5 months of university were spent creating my graduation project. A great deal of stress, worry and overall passion went in to it. I look back at my degree show with pride having presented my work well, but wish I had the knowledge and positivity towards my work then that I now have. That "what if" mentality towards my degree and the process I took to get to the end will have to stay in 2014, because I did what I did and that is that. You can always think what you would have done and think "would, should, could" as I've realised you miss out on the present and you could ruin the future. You can't compare your journey to other peoples journeys. You go at your own speed, go on your own creative journey and gain and use knowledge to get your own goals.  
After I finished my degree I spent a challenging two months living and working in London. I was in a city full of people but still felt very lonely but my desire to succeed and finish my placement made me stay after thinking "I can't" for so long. I used the word "can't" so many times in my two months that it slowly became an unhealthy word I used with most things. It's a word and a feeling I took to my second placement at George @ Asda and made me scared to challenge myself. The two week experience was full of learning and developing as a character and a designer. By adding up the two placements my skills had resulted in more than I could have hoped for, despite using that C word too many times I made the most of them both and grab any chance to gain new skills with both hands. 
The job search that took place after university was not an easy one. Day after day I would able for a handful of jobs whilst looking for other ones. I was, quite shamefully, desperate. I wanted that 9-5 weekday job doing the one thing I loved the most - designing. Job rejections would, at the beginning, hold on to me for days and make me quite upset, it moved on to me questioning whether I was good enough to be a designer to eventually progressing to a time when job rejections became second nature. 
After handing in my CV to a company in Leciester, things began to look up and by literally walking that extra mile I got a job designing print and pattern, plus slogans, for the high street market. After months of testing myself, my skills, my knowledge and finally ditching the C word, I was rewarded with that designing job. I had done it, after 6 months out of University got the one thing I had worked since I was 17 for and I still pinch myself at how lucky I have been. 

I still miss University, the people, the experience but mostly the learning. I loved learning about the only one thing I could actually understand - textiles. Next year I plan to learn more to aid my skills and career more. I want to read more books, journals and magazines about the industry, behind the scenes and the history and science of it all. Build up a "brain library" of it all and be more wise in the field of textiles. 

Alongside the above, next year I want to blog more, worry less, be more positive, say I Can, be healthier (typical thing to say I know), be more creative, love more, learn more, see more. And build myself to be something, like I have done this year. By experiencing a change of character, which is influenced by friends, family and loved ones but also the challenges of this year, I have grown in to someone I like being more and this has made me want to keep growing by keep doing more. More, more and more.  

I massive thank you to all those to helped me get through this very long, eventual and exciting year. 

Happy 2015! 

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